Post-divorce parenting in the digital era: risks and blessings

After divorce, it can be difficult for parents to raise a child separately. Each of them has their own ideas about which strategies to use, what to allow the child, and what to restrict. Also, communication with the ex-spouse can cause psychological discomfort.

The development of modern technology makes the tasks faced by divorced parents less challenging but also adds various dangers, all of which we will discuss below.

Digital technology uses for better parenting

Divorced parents often experience a lack of communication with their children and control over their development, even if both parties have equal rights after divorce through joint legal or physical custody.

Questions like “How can I obtain full custody over our children?” are a lot more common, as opposed to “How can I get joint custody?”

“Joint custody is the most common type of child custody, but it doesn’t always provide equal opportunities to each parent,” says Melissa Tenny, director for legal document compliance at the popular divorce papers preparation service Complete Case.

Fortunately, advances in technology are capable of closing the parenting gap. These days, the uses of digital devices and software for parenting purposes include:

• establishing of frequent child-parent communication;
• forming practical cooperation between the parents;
• ensuring child safety (their whereabouts and activities);
• searching for parenting techniques and expert advice, etc.

Frequent communication between a parent and a child is fundamental for a child’s healthy psychological development and self-esteem. But for a non-custodial parent, it is sometimes difficult to establish such contact after divorce.

As a way to exercise parenting time more fully, parents are now able to communicate with their children via video calls (Skype, Zoom, Google Hangouts), web-based messengers (WhatsApp, Snapchat), social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter), e-mails, and chat rooms.

Effective communication between divorced parents is also crucial for better parenting. It is the best way to establish a framework for co-parenting. But as often happens, not all ex-spouses are ready to communicate with each other, even for a short time.

The solution to these issues is an increasing emergence of apps and programs that allow parents to make decisions about their child while keeping live communication to a minimum.

Various studies have shown that most ex-spouses use messages for daily questions and emails for planning more detailed activities for their child. They also use google calendar to synchronize their tasks and monitor each parent’s responsibilities. Several parenting applications help organize day-to-day activities, exchange information, access medical notes and school schedules, and more.

Another type of application a vigilant parent may need is child safety apps. They can be downloaded to a child’s smartphone and ensure both physical and online safety. With such software, parents can locate their children, restrict them from using social media, and even track their driving habits.

The use of digital technology can be advantageous in many ways, such as for parent-child communication or education. But there are also numerous side effects of its misuse. Nicolas G. Carr, an acclaimed American writer focusing on the influence of technology on our lives, believes that a “computer is never a neutral tool. It influences, for better or worse, the way a person works and thinks.” The same applies to other digital sources.