Anna, the warrior – Readers’ letter

by Juxs

I hate spiders, in fact, all insects. Hi, I am Anna, 40 years old woman. Like most of the others, I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a mother. I have a beautiful small family. I am blessed with everything that I need or maybe I am happy with what I have.

Zsuzsi, my best friend, now in Thailand enjoying her vacation. She called me yesterday, and we were talking for almost an hour. Looks like she is in heaven. I am happy but also a bit sad since I did not go with her. My daughter Emma, 5 years old cute and most beautiful daughter in the world, sleeping in her room. This is the only time I get to do what I want. Zsuzsi shared her travel photos with me. I am going through one by one, trying to feel the adventures that Zsuzsi is experiencing now.

She is always like this, an adventurous woman.

When we were in the university, she never hesitated to take part in sports, camping, parties, and adventure trips. I remained a shy girl, cautious, not sporty, and always rely on others. I think this is how I grow up. I never get a chance to stress my small brain. I was always a cute, innocent, and studious girl. Everyone liked me, respected me, and loved me. I was never left alone in my life. My parents, my brother, my friends always there for me and took care of me. I think I never complained about anything except not being courageous. Sometimes it makes me feel I am worthless, and I become depressed.

I still remember those university days. We were choosing a partner to share our rooms. Everyone wanted me as their roommate, but it was Zsuzsi I shared my room with her. That night around 10, Zsuzsi was out for a party. I was going back to my room thinking of tomorrow’s schedule. As usual, I opened the door with my keys, and I saw a big spider hanging in front of me!

I was stunned and scared. I felt I am dead.

I ran away from my room. I was shivering and wanted to scream, but I did not. I do not know why I scare of spiders and insects. This always made me think, why am I not normal like other girls? Why am I too cautious? Because of this fear, I avoided late-night parties and camping. Hmm… still searching answers for to these questions. Many times, I tried to act like a strong girl, but I know I am not!

I started waiting for Zsuzsi to return from the party. I was afraid to ask my other friends, they may make fun of me and the next day I will be in the spotlight in my class. I was anxiously waiting for Zsuzsi,

blaming myself for not being courageous.

Finally, at the midnight Zsuzsi arrived. I was angry at her and with a high tone “why you are so late? you know what happened …” I told her everything what has happened in one breath. Calmly she looked at me and realized that I am scared and nervous. She smiled at me, hold my hands and we walked to the room.